Medical Quotes #1

I'm in a quotes phase. Don't know why. But found these beauts. Two part series. Original post here.

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In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. ~Cicero


My doctor is nice; every time I see him, I'm ashamed of what I think of doctors in general. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


The greatest mistake in the treatment of diseases is that there are physicians for the body and physicians for the soul, although the two cannot be separated. ~Plato


Body and soul cannot be separated for purposes of treatment, for they are one and indivisible. Sick minds must be healed as well as sick bodies. ~C. Jeff Miller


In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. ~Martin H. Fischer


It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class. ~Author Unknown


Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. ~Robert Burton


I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. ~James H. Boren


A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. ~Francis O'Walsh


Did God who gave us flowers and trees,
Also provide the allergies?
~E.Y. Harburg, "A Nose Is a Nose Is a Nose," 1965


I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation on someone else, not you. ~Bill Walton


It is a wise mans part, rather to avoid sickness, than to wishe for medicines. ~Thomas More, Utopia [sic]


I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. ~Finley Peter Dunne


You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. ~Pearl Williams


To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. ~Henry Ward Beecher


A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. ~Martin H. Fischer


Surgeons must be very careful
When they take the knife!
Underneath their fine incisions
Stirs the Culprit - Life!
~Emily Dickinson


It is a good thing for a physician to have prematurely grey hair and itching piles. The first makes him appear to know more than he does, and the second gives him an expression of concern which the patient interprets as being on his behalf. ~A. Benson Cannon


A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. ~Author Unknown


One thousand Americans stop smoking every day - by dying. ~Author Unknown


A hypochondriac is one who has a pill for everything except what ails him. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. ~Voltaire


A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. ~Martin H. Fischer


It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. ~J.J. Walsh


Every disease is a physician. ~Irish Proverb


God heales, and the Physitian hath the thankes. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs


Drugs are not always necessary. Belief in recovery always is. ~Norman Cousins


I firmly believe that if the whole materia medica could be sunk to the bottom of the sea, it would be all the better for mankind and all the worse for the fishes. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes


There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. ~Henri Amiel


Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. ~Don Herold


The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! ~Martin H. Fischer


The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. ~Elbert Hubbard


When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is - if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. ~Nicholas de Belleville


Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. ~William Shakespeare


I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. ~Betsy Salkind


Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. ~Peter Mere Latham


In the nineteenth century men lost their fear of God and acquired a fear of microbes. ~Author Unknown


Symptoms, then are in reality nothing but the cry from suffering organs. ~Jean Martin Charcot, translated from French


I never read a patent medicine advertisement without being impelled to the conclusion that I am suffering from the particular disease therein dealt with in its most virulent form. ~Jerome K. Jerome, Three Men in a Boat


Diagnosis is not the end, but the beginning of practice. ~Martin H. Fischer


The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. ~Alexander of Tralles


Physicians and politicians resemble one another in this respect, that some defend the constitution and others destroy it. ~Author Unknown


A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. ~August Bier


When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool. ~Arabic Proverb


Medicines are not meat to live by. ~German Proverb


Treat the patient, not the Xray. ~James M. Hunter


God and the Doctor we alike adore
But only when in danger, not before;
The danger o'er, both are alike requited,
God is forgotten, and the Doctor slighted.
~Robert Owen


Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. ~Roul Turley


The hospital is the only proper College in which to rear a true disciple of Aesculapius. ~John Abernethy


A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. ~Martin H. Fischer


Better to hunt in fields, for health unbought,
Than fee the doctor for a nauseous draught,
The wise, for cure, on exercise depend;
God never made his work for man to mend.
~John Dryden